CHRISTY CANYON
By Clete McCabe
Sheee-e-e-e-s back!
And not a moment too soon. With silicone now flooding the brassieres of the Porno Industry at a degree even greater than the inflation rate in Brazil, the prayers of all lovers of real titanic tits has been answered with the return of one of Smutville's all-time top-heavy heavenly bodies -- CHRISTY CANYON!
After another extended leave of absence, the lush lovely with the humongous hooters and the hell-fire hips is once again gracing carnal cassettes with some of the hottest footage to ever be captured on tape.
Measuring in at phenomenal and NATURAL 36-DD/24/36, the energetic and erotic Miss Canyon reveals for the first time, in this exclusive and totally uncensored interview, why she left the X-Biz, how she originally got into it, and why she's come back!
SEXNET [while turning on a small tape recorder]: Christy, please don't tell anyone I've got such a tiny one.
CHRISTY [roaring with laughter]: But they all know! And a hand-held job, too.
SEXNET: It's wonderful to have you back. But why did you originally quit?
CHRISTY: Before when I was in it, what used to burn me out was that I was working every day. For practically the eight months that I was in it, I probably worked on the average of twenty-five days out of the month.
And one day I just woke up, and I said to myself, "I just can't do this anymore. I had, like, just burned out!
SEXNET: And it probably didn't help either that some of the directors are not as professional as others.
CHRISTY: Yes. You don't always get good meals, and if you get them you have to fight for them. And there were some people who really treated you like you were just a Porno Person.
Yeah, even some of the directors. Like [MIKE] CARPENTER, and JACK GENNARO, those types of people. They really treated you like you were the bottom of the barrel.
SEXNET: Do you really want to mention their names?
CHRISTY: No. Ohhh-h-h-h, I don't care! They treat you like shit [she cracks up], so why not?!!! Let everyone know. But the two people that really stand out -- are Jack Gennaro, and Mike Carpenter. They treated me very poorly. And Everyone -- not just me, of course!
With that attitude of -- like I remember Mike Carpenter once said to the make-up artist, "Put on that cocksucker red!" I mean, couldn't he call it, say, "British Red," or "Really Red," you know?
I mean, what a phrase to use for a lipstick. Whereas everybody else, pretty much, treated you -- you know -- with respect. The best ones I worked for were Video Exclusives, ALEX DE RENZY, and BOB WOLFE in San Francisco. Those were like my three favorites to work for.
So now it's very nice, for the next years, working for just the one company -- you don't have to deal with all the riffraff, like I said.
SEXNET: Let me cut in with just one story about Gennaro, an incident that happened last week. He would not supply any of the girls douches.
CHRISTY: Oh, no!
SEXNET: And the production manager, who hadn't worked with him before, said, "Hey, what about the douches?" And Gennaro looked at the guy, and said, "They're not paying for my tapes, so I'm not paying for ..." etc. Can you believe it?! That's a moron.
CHRISTY: What a mentality. And it was like pulling teeth to get food for lunch. It was just horrible.
SEXNET: What's your ultimate goal?
CHRISTY: You mean in the business?
SEXNET: No, in life.
CHRISTY: Well, I really like to travel. And with the way that I'm working -- which comes out to be, maybe with the box cover, comes out to be, maybe, five days out of the month -- which gives me plenty of time and plenty of money to do anything else that I want to do.
Which, whether it's traveling or just laying around by my pool or working out everyday or maybe going to school -- you know, whatever the plan may be, I like having the freedom to do whatever I want to do.
And being that I got in the business when I was just eighteen, at eighteen like having all this money, I kinda spoiled myself four or five years ago.
SEXNET: At that age, you didn't have the experience to handle it any other way.
CHRISTY: Right. And I really like what I'm doing. I was never -- and will never -- be one of the types that wakes up, dreads the shoot, and says, "Goddammit, I don't want to go,
blah-blah-blah, I'm just doing it for the money."
But I always enjoyed going to work. I always liked the people, ninety percent of the time, excluding the Gennaros, etc.
I always liked being around the cast, which was usually very nice. And the crew, you know, always treated me like gold. And I always liked being in the atmosphere. There's something about it -- maybe because it's so taboo, and it's supposed to be so shady -- that it's fun in a way.
Maybe it's because I want to live a little dangerously, on the verge there, you know.
SEXNET: But there's another element, too. And that's the basic honesty of the crews and casts, etc. Very little bullshit, fewer phonies, of which Hollywood itself abounds.
CHRISTY: Uh-huh, right. And I mean, what other job can you, like, walk around wearing nothing but your underwear? And to me it was always fun because I'm not ashamed of my body. Of course, I could always lose about five pounds. I think every girl thinks that way -- not that we ever will [cracking up].
I think it's fun just to wear a pair of boots and my underwear and walk around.
SEXNET: And that's a pretty nice view, Ma'am, for us lucky enough to be in attendance, yessiree.
CHRISTY: Thank you. So I didn't quit because I hated the business. First of all, I was exhausted. Second of all I was dating a guy who gave me an ultimatum. I was in love, so -- I always kept the door ajar. I always knew that someday I would do something in it again. Because I never totally cut it off.
SEXNET: And now that you're back, tell us about your first experience humping in front of a camera again.
CHRISTY: Luckily, my first booking was with TOM BYRON. And he's like a brother to me, you know. So after five minutes, it was just like five years ago.
And it's fun for me because I've got two different sides. Maybe it's because I'm a Gemini. Actually, I've got like three sides: I've got the Little Girl side of me still, where I like to stay up with my girlfriends, and giggle, and drink hot chocolate and smoke cigarettes all night.
Then I've got my side that's more a loose side. When I know I can be like that, it's real easy for me to turn that on, to work, that whole thing. And then I've got a very conservative side.
SEXNET: Do you know where the conservative side is going to work best for you?
CHRISTY: I think financially [she starts cracking up]. You know, when I quit the business five years ago, I had a certain amount of money in the bank. And when I got back in it, I still had that much, less a thousand. That's how good I am with money.
I know how to do things in perspective now. Work a little bit, don't overdue it, save X-amount of money.
SEXNET: Balance.
CHRISTY: Yes-s-s. But it took me a few years to get to learn that, you know, because I was like every other eighteen-year-old who gets in the business. You like one outfit, and you tend to get ten different colors of it. Want a pair of shoes. Get ten more. Now I know -- get just one color.
SEXNET: Are you also going to be going on the road, to dance, as so many of the other Stars are doing today?
CHRISTY: Right now, no. There's too much else going on. The other thing is, all the girls seem to have to get breast jobs. I don't know, I don't think dancing around is very good for you if you're heavy on the top like I am.
SEXNET: Interesting, because there's only one other lady in the business besides you who has large breasts that are natural, and not from Goodyear Rubber. That's TRINITY LOREN.
CHRISTY: There is one thing, though, I really like having real breasts, and large. I just hate that look of boobs that don't move. You know, when I was younger, in sixth grade, I was bigger than anyone in the whole school, including the teachers, and that used to make me mad.
But now, now that I'm grown up -- and plus, do you know what -- I always feel that having a larger chest gives me more power with people. Some people wear shoulder pads -- I've got like built-in ones, you know.
SEXNET: Of course. America is a breast oriented culture. When you and I first met, about six years, when you first got into modeling, you were living in Hollywood, and I mean the most bizarre part of Los Angeles. Tell us about those experiences.
CHRISTY: Oh, my God. I lived on the corner of Franklin and Orchid, at the Holiday Apartments. It was a holiday, alright, everybody there was on a trip, except for me.
But you know what -- I loved it! Now that I look back, and even at the time, I had fun. It was fun there. But it's something I could never do again. I was there for five months.
I must have, like, a guardian angel. Because some of the things that I survived in that area -- oooohhhhh, boy! I mean Twilight Zone.
There were Pimps across the street. There were Pimps up above me, there were Gay People up above me, there was a Drug Addict next to me, there was a Totally Loony Guy next to me, across the hall, and all day he'd go "blah-blah-blah, motherfucker, blah-blah-blah" -- I mean ALL day.
I'd wake up, there were Bums outside my window. I got to know them, ummnnn, you know, breakfast every morning.
There was a Transvestite down the hall, who used to feed me dinner every night. I mean nice people, but just totally whacked out loony-bins. It was like that movie, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. It was like that. And I was like the sane person.
I was living alone, on the bottom floor, in the back unit, and there was no light in the dirt area for parking outside my window. God knows how I survived without one thing scratching or scarring me.
I mean, like, the windows were paper thin, the doors were like cardboard, I know I must have a guardian angel. I mean I've been through some situations that are scary when you think
back -- but I'm glad I did it because it was really fun. But, like -- I'm never gonna do that again!
SEXNET: Do you remember how you got into porn? I do.
CHRISTY: Yes, I do. I was standing outside waiting one night for a girlfriend to pick me up, and this little surfer blonde guy pulls up in a White Trans-Am, with the gold eagle on the hood, with the sunroof, the whole thing, and we just started talking.
And I'm very personable -- and at eighteen I'd talk to anyone pretty much -- so anyway, he came up to me and said, "Oh, what kind of work do you do, you're so pretty! You should do modeling and tapa-tapa-tap."
Well, at the time, I felt really ugly about myself. I had just graduated high school, moved out on my own, wasn't talking to my family --
SEXNET: -- Why not?
CHRISTY: Why not? It's a whole personal long story starting with divorce. It had gotten to the point where my parents, no longer married to each other, were fighting with their [new] spouses.
And I was caught in the middle, no matter what house I went to. I was getting the blame from everyone. How could a
seventeen-year-old cause the divorce of everyone?
So, anyway, GREG ROME -- the little blonde surfer guy -- is saying all these nice things and I thought, "Wow, it's really nice of the guy to think I could be a model, and da-da-da!"
I'm working two jobs now and I can't pay my bills, so he gave me a card for a modeling agency. And it said, "figure modeling." So I asked Greg what was figure modeling? And he said, "Oh, just a little nudity."
So, anyway, I think I went out with him a few times, just to dance clubs and stuff, and then he kind of bored me after awhile. I don't like that real blonde look. I like darker, and I'm not into those real muscle builds and young guys. I've never been attracted to that. I've always liked older men.
But I still had that card that he gave me, and I looked at it once and I thought, "No, I'll never do figure modeling" -- but I put it away. I just always kept it in a little drawer.
And one night I was down to, like, five dollars in my wallet, another five in the bank -- and my car insurance was due, my rent was do, I mean EVERYTHING was due.
My phone had like 24 hours, then they were going to cut it off. So I called up this number.
SEXNET: And the rest, as they say, is history.
CHRISTY: And it was like from that day on I worked the whole eight months.
SEXNET: Had you and Greg "Rocky" Rome fucked before you called the agency?
CHRISTY: Ah, yess-s-s-s. Once! And it was because I wasn't experienced with sex at all. I was barely eighteen. I hadn't been with too many guys, and he would say, "Well, if you do get into the video part eventually, do you know what doggie style is, and do you know what spoon is, and all?"
Well, I know what a fork is. I mean I really didn't know the different positions.
SEXNET: Spatula?
CHRISTY [cracking up]: Yeah, egg beater, or you know. I'd always been with guys who were just into themselves getting off, and not pleasing me.
SEXNET: In other words, they just wanted to cum on your tits, that sort of thing.
CHRISTY: Right. That -- and just laying me down and doing their thing. Whereas, until I got into the business, I had never had a guy do, like, four different positions in one night, you know. Or last more than five minutes.
So to me it was really exciting, and felt like, "Well, I'm not really enjoying this, Greg, but I think I should learn it [she erupts with laughter]." But I was, like, scared because I thought, "Oooo, this guy's been with all those pretty girls and here, you know, I don't know what I'm doing."
But he liked it, because he thought he was like Mr. Macho for teaching me. And for the full eight months I was in the business, he used to always say to me, [mimicking a little boy's voice] "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have all that money," you know.
It was like, "Shuddup -- you got your fifty dollars commission."
SEXNET: You know where "Rocky" is now, don't you?
CHRISTY: In jail, I heard.
SEXNET: Well, I mean when he's not there.
CHRISTY: On Santa Monica Boulevard.
SEXNET: That's true. Strolling "Boys Town," hustling guys.
CHRISTY [alarmed]: Was he then?
SEXNET: No. But that's where he's been the last year or so. I saw him out there one morning.
CHRISTY [shocked]: You actually saw him out there?
SEXNET: Yeah. Wearing just a tank top and tight shorts -- and clutching one of his Boy/Girl videos, with him on the cover. Guess it helps him to get a higher fee from the trade he picks up.
CHRISTY [stunned]: Shit! Oh, no. That's sad. That's like the bottom of the barrel, I think. So, it's too bad because Greg was basically a nice person. His only problem with me, though, was when I got really big, and famous, he wanted all the credit, you know.
And it was like, "Hey, Greg, you introduced me, you got paid for it, I requested you in my first twenty-nine thousand videos, you know. I mean you made money off of it, not only from the agent, but me wanting to work with you, so don't give me any of this shit."
SEXNET: He basically was a pleasant guy -- but, no, he wasn't the brightest guy.
CHRISTY: I don't think a lot of the people [in the business] are. Not to be mean -- but even when I was in it, I wasn't playing with a full deck. I was a little screwy at the time, I think. Eighteen!?! I didn't know what to do with all this money, with fame, you know.
SEXNET: Few do, at eighteen, or even eighty.
CHRISTY [laughing]: But I do now. Yes, I do! So I'm back, and glad to be back!!!