Special Editorial Column
Dear Readers,
We, at Mentertainment, have a 100% money back guarantee. Oh, OK. you say.
Let’s stop for a minute: do you think this is usual? Well, of course... Better think again! If you go to a restaurant, eat the meal, and then tell the waitress that you didn’t like it: do you think they’ll let you off without paying for the meal? Whether you liked it or not. You ate it after all! Or if you buy a piece of clothing, wear it for a month, take it back to the store, stained and torn, and tell them you want your money back: do you think they will cheerfully refund your money? The product has to be returned to the merchant, normally, in unused condition, so it can be sold again, or at least the signals that you really didn’t want the product need to be there. When you buy advertising, none of the product is returnable. The labor, the design, the paper, the circulation, all got used up, completely gone. Just like the meal in the first example. So offering a 100% money back guarantee is very unusual, indeed. Very generous. Is it? Let’s see: if your ad doesn’t work for you, instead of bringing in money, it has cost you money; will you to continue to spend your advertising dollars with me? No way! So I lost your business anyway, and in advertising the only real dollar for a magazine is the dollar you spend from your second ad on. The fact that the publication can count on your advertising, month after month, that’s the bread and butter, or croissant and lobster for publications. So, in reality, if I weren’t sure that you would get results, and I took your advertising, I mislead you, and I should refund your money, as cheerfully as money already spent can be refunded. If I publish a magazine that doesn’t produce results for advertisers, I should reconsider publishing. Unhappy advertisers are a great feedback. I have had this money back guarantee policy for 10 years now, and so far only two advertisers took advantage of it. Why? I guess, they were happy, at least reasonably happy.
An unhappy customer tells of his bad experience to 10-30 people. Happy customers are just that. Happy. Don’t talk about it much. They expected to be happy.
I intend to take this concept one step further. Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, I decided that
from now on, we’ll give
FREE AD SPACE
to qualified business that want to test Mentertainment or Mentertainment Online.
If you picked up your head and said... what’s the catch? You can be sure, there are conditions. Four conditions. One: I must be sure that the advertising is likely to produce interest in our readership. Two: That you know what specific and realistic result you would experience, and have it set up so that you know if it happens (one way is asking every new caller where they have heard about your club, business, offer, etc.) Three: That you promise that if you like your results, you will refer to us at least two other businesses that you think will benefit from advertising in Mentertainment or Mentertainment Online. Four: You pay for the production of your actual ad, or bring us a publication-ready ad.
We know that a happy customer who makes money with his investment in advertising, will be a return customer. And that is what we have been producing, because this is what we want. Not the new advertisers. Not the hard-driving price negotiators. Not the “here is my ad in the last minute...can you squeeze it in?” or the “put in two centerfold models’ pictures for my shabby start-up outcall service... while I recruit my first girls.. hopefully the customers are coming... and vice versa.” ones. Not them. I’d rather have only two new advertisers an issue, and a hundred old ones. Who stay in business, make money, and praise my publications. Who know what they are getting. Results, results, results.
Thanks for listenin. Now think about it and call. I am waiting for your call.
Sophie
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